• 13.08.2017 kl. 19:22

twenty three and free

My Birthday has just passed and I turned into my lucky number: 23. The previous years has had its challenges and I am sure this year will bring a few as well, but I really want to try to set clear intentions for what I wish for the next year to bring. One thing I've learned (amongst many) is that life can go great on shuffle, you can get amazing times in the mix, but that doesn't mean that you can't prevent it from being on shuffle and have full control over the direction of your life. 

When I was 21 I went through some really heart breaking and devastating experiences and as 22 I kind of recovered from those, chose to learn from my previous experiences and came to terms with that everything that had happened in my life, I had personally put there.
As 23 I wish to grow, I want to bloom, and I want to find my truth and express it. This year will be about finding confidence and excitement in who I am, and not be afraid to use my voice. I wish for a passionate life amongst people I don't feel like I have to numb myself down to fit in with. I want to accept who I am, and not be afraid to be that, fully & unapologetically.

I am a strange girl, but a very passionate one, and I am the happiest when I express creativity in forms of pictures and words and share that with the world ...But I am also a very insecure girl, who has become excited and happy when sharing myself with the world, but then go very fast back into anxiety of what people think about me, people who shouldn't matter. But I've let them matter and it hurts because it stops my growth and my life have become and endless cycle of gaining courage and daring to do, to doing, to taking it back and feeling ashamed, worried and anxious for what impression my expression has left the people around me with.

Something wonderful happens when I go out of my comfort zone, which awkwardly enough feels like the bridge towards my ultimate comfort zone: Full Freedom of Creativity and Expression; I gain new friendships and relations to people who appreciate it, which feels more real than the 95% of the relations I have in my life, but for some reason, that small percentage of realness, have never had the ability to over power the insecurity over rest, those who has always known me,  but never really truly known me; past class mates and current friends. 
...But, I always come back to this. I always come back to bleed at the keyboard or in my notebook. I cannot dim the flire anymore, it will only prevent me from shining the brightest I possibly can.

It's time to find the strength to grow up and as an adult, release the fright and insecurities that I've carried as a child and though my teenage years.

So why do I need to write and photograph publically? Because I am so many things, I am so much of everything, and some times (most times) it feels like no one ever really knows me, and that my connections to people are poor because they fall in love with parts of me. Never everything I am. So I want to be everything, the bad parts, the good parts, the intense extensions of every part, and hope that by sharing my true self, the people who are like me or accept me, will find me. 
And also because, maybe most importantly, we live in a world where we constantly are exposed to lives portraid as picture-perfect, where everyone looks fabulous and happy, rich and famous; through Instagram, Facebook and Blogs, in a world that is definitely anything but that. I want to be part of showing girls and boys that not everyone is always okay, because I certainly am not, and that is life. That is real.

So here I am, to share my passion for creativity, writing and photography through my winnings and downfalls, from an honest and raw perspective of an occasionally euphoric, sometimes chaotic, often depressed and far from perfect 23-year old. 

  • moonwild

    Carly, 23 years old from Norway. Passionate about travel, photography, music, young talent and the universe. Please subscribe for travel inspiration and everything from Streetstyle to how to handle the Universe.


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